| from The Independent & The Independent on Sunday |
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Forget the gadgets, the casual killing, and the outlandish stunts, the new James is sex on legs. He's leaner, meaner and more physical than any of his predecessors. But how exactly does one bag the new post-feminist, post-Cold War Bond? Liz Hoggard reveals the tricks needed to capture Bond's heart. 1. Get married. James likes his women attached. His first conquest in Casino Royale is the luscious but very married Caterina Murino. When he meets Treasury official Vesper Lynd (played by French actress Eva Green), he tells her, "Don't worry, you're not my type". "Too smart?" she suggests sarcastically. "Too single!" he retorts. 2. Stock up on the Elastoplast. This Bond does most of his own stunts. "If you're not getting hurt, you're not doing it properly," insists Daniel Craig, who looks convincingly battered and bruised and even lost half a tooth during one fight scene. 3. Don't imagine that cool drinks will be enough to win him over. When the barman asks Bond whether he prefers his Martini shaken or stirred, he retorts, "Do I look like I care?" 4. Remember, don't hide your best assets. In the film James instructs Vesper Lynd to wear a low-cut Roberto Cavalli gown, so that everyone at the casino will be peering down her frock rather than looking at his cards. 5. Embrace the minibreak. James doesn't do relaxing weekends. Casino Royale sees him jetting off to Madagascar, France, Montenegro, the Bahamas and Venice at a moment's notice. ![]() 6. Get fit. Already a gym rat, Craig hired a personal trainer and after shooting began, upped his five-times-a-week workout schedule to every day. We like the results. 7. Make sure you have a head for heights. In one heart-stopping sequence, James scrambles up a crane, and then chases after a would-be bomber who's leaping across construction beams 200ft up in the air. 8. Keep your clothes on. Once upon a time in Bond world, female love interest ran around in skimpy bikinis as the world exploded. Now it's James who gets to wear the tight-fitting pants. In one scene, he emerges from the sea in natty brief swimming trunks - a parody of Ursula Andress in Dr No. 9. Don't bitch about his theme tune. Grunge pioneer Chris Cornell may seem an unusual choice (especially after grand dames, Dame Shirley Bassey and Tina Turner) to sing the film's key song, but according to music critics, Cornell's You Know My Name, with its tense strings and big blurts of brass, is the first Bond song in years to measure up to John Barry. 10.Show an interest in Bond's day-job, but never accompany him to a dungeon. During the film's excrutiating torture scene, Craig is stripped naked and tied to a chair, then flogged repeatedly across his genitals by villain Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). "I was protected by fibreglass, thankfully," says Craig. "Although at one point when Mads was hitting it with the whip, it cracked and I flew across to the other side of the room." Strictly one for the boys. 11. Make him feel guilty. In the sexiest scene of the film, Craig cradles a distraught Vesper in the shower, fully clothed, as he tenderly licks the blood off her fingers. ![]() 12.Remember the villain is always the one with a Nazi haircut, a platinum asthma inhaler and a tendency to bleed from the eye. 13. Don't be a fashion snob. The beginning of Casino Royale sees James as a raw recruit with a dodgy taste in clothes. His sartorial crimes include a very nasty cheesecloth shirt. Even Vesper Lynd has to fight to make him wear a decent dinner suit. 14. Don't even think about borrowing the car. With its sculptural curves and figure-hugging leather seats, Bond's new-look Aston Martin DBS is worth a small fortune. 15. Swot up on the Maths O'level. Bond girl Eva Green has to bankroll Craig £10 million in taxpayers' money just to get him a game at the Casino. 16. Chuck out the Botox. Author Ian Fleming may have described Bond's face as "a taciturn mask, ironical, brutal, and cold" - but Craig is a rugged northern blonde with furrows in all the right places. 17. Learn poker. All the hot Hollywood babes are doing it, and frankly if you don't know the rules, you're going to find the film's marathon game of Texas hold 'em poker interminable. 18. 19. Judi Dench may have let the cat out of the bag about Daniel's impressive manhood, but rejoice ladies, foreplay is back. In the film James boasts he can do more with his little finger than most men can do with their...sorry, I may have to go and lie down for a bit. 20.Never cheat on James. He's an equal opportunities assassin. Lady traitors are dispatched just as brutally as the men in Bond. Casino Royale features a terrifying finale in an underwater Venetian lift shaft. Enough said. |